Malvika's Ramblings

Welcome aboard

Capn’ Charlton welcomed the native aboard one of the Halford Yacht Club. “Welcome m’dear” he announced throwing his arms wide open. The native wondered if a hug was expected but no, he was just showing off his huge yacht.

 

“So, now that you are here, let’s fit you into the crew. What can you be? Asst. Captain?”

 

I don’t know the stern from the.. Actually that is the only ship-word I know. Oh yeah, also anchor, rudder, abaft..

 

“Ok. Engineer?”

 

I have more artistic leanings.

 

“Baby-sitter?”

 

I can’t change diapers.

 

“It’s okay. The kid is 4 years old.”

 

Well, I am not ga-ga over little hands, baby tantrums and I WILL NOT wipe porridge dribbling on the chin.

 

“Umm..chef?”

 

Dekho bhaiya.. I am Jain, a vegetarian. Won’t touch lobsters, oysters, trout. No ham, no bacon, no tuna, no sardine.

 

“OK. Deckhand?”

 

Yeah I can scrub the deck, polish metal and rig up the sails. But do I get to smoke a fat cigar on job, hop over ropes from board to shore, whistle with my hands in my pocket, be a liar, wear a striped neck-kerchief and go taverning now and then?

 

“Do you want a tattoo too?”

 

No. I don’t want to be a stereotype you know.

 

"Do you want to be our resident brooder, sketching and writing 'she-was-a-tossed-upon-the-frothy-sea, she-was, like-a-moon-on-the-nimbus'?"

 

No. That’s like work. I could be at the ad agency itself y’know.

 

"Ok. Deckhand it is. Start by making me a stiff one."