Malvika's Ramblings

Agua e Crema

A little part of the fabric of life is understood when you can differentiate and choose between water based stuff and cream based stuff -

Water based garnishing and cream based salad sauce

Water based moisturizers and cream based misturizers

Watery colours like green and blue or cream based like yellow and mustard

Watery people with lilting laughter or Cream based people with rich anecdotes and homes with fireplaces

Watery Earthen pots or Creamy ceramic ware

The Truth of a Blip

Back to India.

Everyone stares.

I can feel all the stares from the corner of my eye. Not all are looks of lechers. Some are just mute blank stares. They seem to be supported by no thought. Why do they stare at me?
Because I am tall?
Because I didnt care to brush my hair?
Because I walk with no shield, no insecurity?
Because I walk with my chin up?

I had learnt, like very Indian girl, to completely ignore the fact that I have lateral vision. But I wasn't trained well enough at all. A stint in Canada, a brief one, and back in India, I can notice the irregularities. Its transparent. And unusual.
Anyway, the fact that you referred to Nietzsche made me pick up a book of his - Beyond Good and Evil, from the book case.

Quote

Something I read once and wrote down somewhere. I just came across it unknowingly.

'I am in a chaos of principles - groping in the dark, acting by instinct and not after example. Eight or nine years ago when I came here first, I had a neat stock of fixed opinions, but they dropped away one by one; and the further I get the less sure I am. I doubt if I have anything more for my present rule of life than following inclinations which do me and nobody else any harm, and actually give pleasure to those I love best.'

- Jude the Obscure, by Thomas Hardy

22 and no rewind

1 more oldie article

It has sunk in and now I am ok with being old, aged 22. That youngster phase is well behind me now. Not a rebel or shocker now. In profiles I dont describe myself as a mad person or a weird person. I dont go typically off-tangent and say, 'Oh there are so many of me, which one shall I tell you about."

Its ok to not be listening to music.

I have stopped taking pictures of myself in front of the bathroom mirror, holding the digicam at arm's length.

My Mom and I are on the same thought plane, and more importantly it seems ok to admit that! I value clean beds and laundry service and cooked meals more than freedom and acknowledgement of my individuality.

If I started a business venture right now I wouldnt be surprising people as a young enterpreneur, which also means I better start something!

There must really be some passion in those 30 year old rock-band members who live in their Mom's houses, living the lives of teenage band boys. Its tough NOT to acknowledge the passage of time.

But things are getting different. Times and associated activities are shifting. Most videogamers are not kids. They are 25 to 30 year old guys with goaties. Lover hunting goes on till one is an octagenarian. Botox paralyses time and faces. Well, thrills and youth have their own fun, but something is to be said for a stable comfy grown-up life.

Geez, I still have to get my first job! I better get my portfolio ready and play my young-and-fresh-college-grad card!

Bole mere lips, I lerve Uncle Chips!

I love Amitabh Bachhan and Himesh Reshammiya. Yes i do! And stuffed buses and trains. And cabs from gurgaon to delhi. Its all nice when u are jammed in and travelling wi ur bf. And I love monsoon india things like steamy chai-samosa-pakora that appears as soon as the first drop pelts down.

And I like shirtless taporis on bikes when it rains. And mud puddles. And Mard Kamzori posters seen from trains as you approach towns. And people who ask if you are baniya or sunar or whatever. I am something new each time! I love greasy black auto mechanic shacks with blackened tenacious hands working monkey-wrenches. And I love the arm-cuts on guys who work at the tandoor, over its red glow and erratic sparks in dhaabas.

I love aunties who force you to eat. And the sweet milky awful tea that real estate brokers force you to drink in their air conditioned offices with an aquarium for effect. And Mughal Gardens and Rajput forts.

Love Update

I am totally in love with Pasha from "So you think you can dance!"

Yup, soppy, doggone lowe..

And it doesn't help that heaps of girls over America are in love with him too. Sighh..

Pic from starlitecommunity.com

Thats Anya in the pic. She is the damndest great dancer too!

Each Day

It starts with filling myself with tea till i feel blackened enough inside. And a blast of rock music till I am spirited enough for work. And no..I am NOT a decadent, dark person. Not much.

And then I sleep at night with HUGE levels of pride at keeping insomnia at bay. So thats 'about me'. In the middle lots happens which is DOING stuff, not WRITING stuff.

My dad wakes up fresh n new. Reads paper, drinks 1 cuppa tea. Is ready and at work before I am outta bed (in another country). He loves his work, enjoys his Amitabh Bachhan movies with adarsh-usool-sidhhant on the weekends and likes efficientifying systems. And he sleeps nice every night with no problem

My sister begins her day IF she wakes up. lol. She will kill me for this. And I will say "Cmon..Wot happened to your sense of hoomer?"

Skylight

Ahh.. i remember now the word i was looking for in today’s exam - Skylight - not the same thing as ventilator or air vent.

Skylight - a patch of yellow indoor light if seen from outside.
Seen from inside its a skyfull of stars - that skylight.
Hang a paper boat or my plastic helicopter in that skylight. A boat or helicopter that doesn’t know if its in darkness with stars or in a mellow yellow small safe patch. Out there or docked? Hanging unknowingly.