Goa.

Control your body.

What control your body?

Position your legs.

What position your legs?

Just hold on tight

For the rodeo ride.

As the speedboat swerves flambouyantly

We hope it lives up to it's name - Lucky Star

Because tied behind on an inflated raft,

We aren't feeling so lucky, or loved or blessed by God.

Just gripping, grasping and rejecting our limbs, trunk, head

To flail, loll, fling and jerk about

As we're dragged on uneven waters

Tossed high up

Flying  like frisbess and then wham, bang, landing time.

First impact butt

Next neck,

Next total recoil.

Like slow motion videos of how and when airbags pop out

In smooth sedans.

Sand in my mouth, in my underwear

No idea what's seaweed and what's my hair.

Sputtering, we totter to the beach

Collapse and let masseurs run their hands.

Few seconds later, we sit like nothing ever happened

In flimsy threads, separating stars from long distance flights.

And the fire descends from the skies to the sand

As a fire eater comes along

Juggling three bottles.

He misses now and then.

A better performance than the smooth, perfect showman

Who does not triumph, fail, recover and exult with company.

Waves foam, froth and every now and then run up

To our toes and candles

Where we sit and eat.

All's good.

Little do we foresee

Ourselves tossing once more

3 hours later

On a weak Activa doing it's best

Down the wrong long road,

Towards a flight to catch.

Bravely sinking into potholes,

Leaping over speedbreakers.

While sleep holds on tight,

Snuggling in the crevices, convolutions of our tired brains.

Goa still parties on.

Two people flee.

Bye bye sea.

Look I know
I’m attractive n all
Hard to resist
But please control yourself
DON’T KISS ME.

When I sit in my pilot seat
A chequered muffler across my nose
Squinting eyes
Intense with bidi smoke
I know you want to
But
DON’T KISS ME.

You can enjoy pretense
Brush your fingers
When I change gears.
Maybe pour me lote se paani
Old school ishtyle
But lissun miss
DON’T KISS ME.

Jibhi.

Don’t enter a village, not a town. No maal road on the Himalayas. Just take an unassuming turn from a gravely, slim mountain road and there you are. Just above the river. And below an invisible but not quiet waterfall. Encircled by mountains densely covered with skyscraperish conifers.

“Roshan! Roshan! Where are you?” And out comes a shiny-skinned, superbly mountain-fit guy smiling to his ears. “Can I have my omelette with this much chilli and that much pyaaz and this much pepper?” Sure you can buddy. But don’t expect instant service. And guess what, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly one is not the “Here’s-my-money-Where’s-my-service?” Delhi customer in an irate McDonald’s line anymore. One is – “Sure Roshan take your time. Life’s going along just fine. Water’s gushing down boulders at its own pace. Cat (who is a dog) is sniffing around at leisure. Let the omelette perform its crescendo slow and easy.”

After a while, “Ok Roshan..enough with all this Wordsworthy repose; where is my omelette!!??” But Roshan wins the duel as we’re clear; we just won’t lift our asses to pursue the O. Finally when the omelette arrives, moods have changed once again like shifting shadows. With food in front, people feel kindlier and all we do is order a round of pancakes. “Dripping with honey or maple syrup please” adds Rajat.

So where was I? Right. Recommending Jibhi like a good travelogue. Systematically. Do you know the route to Manali? That awesome long cold tunnel on the way? Well, don’t take that. Take a detour from the mouth of that tunnel towards Shoja and stop at Jibhi. Lay your bags down at Om Shanti tents.

How to get to Jibhi:
Load 3 Enfields with all you need (Spare parts extremely necessary as we realised). Pull on all your gear (Balaclava. Check. Riding jacket. Check. Camelbak. Check. Helmet. Check. Gloves. Check. Forgot the ipod? Ok.. undo. Redo from step 1). And braaaaang braaaang braaanggggg. A straight dash to Chandigarh (120 kmph) and then just corners all the way to Jibhi (80 kmph). Deep leans on the bike towards the green Beas every now and then. The universe keeps tilting side to side. The sky keeps dipping down. Night is fireworks against asphalt. Occasional foot scrapes too. I think I lost some toe.

P.S: Beware of involuntary initiation into the RE cult; to Raid, Odyssey, KTM, Roadshakers, Sachin Chavan, Chhotu Baljit, Karol Bagh, BMW, FI, Rann. Or what the hell, just soak it in.

If you encounter any bike-trouble in the Mandi area, put your fears at rest and head to the mechanic in town, who may say to you "Oh Ji Tension na leyo Tussi. Spare koi nahin haiga, siddha sab kuch kar deange!". Meanwhile, buy your chips & biscuits at shopkeeper next door; the guy who asked us "Ooji kithe chale?". Rajat (based on our uncertain plans): "Rohtang, barf dekhne." Shopkeeper: "errrr.. Baarf?.. elo sade fridge vich kinni lelo."

At Jibhi, once you have settled in the tents and bumbled about, if you wish for some goosebumpy action like Cranium-Contraction, walk up to the ridiculously close and totally pvt waterfall, over quaint bridges and dunk thyself in the cold H2O. Trust me, that should do the job. Or if you don’t trust me ask Rajat, Neeraj or Sidhu. Caution: It is advised not to have children around, as you react to the water and sudden change in temeperature.

At night, you can ask Roshan for a bonfire on the river-rocks, with your feet dipped in the running (freezing) water. We didn’t. As I said, we just lowtowed.

As Euripides, a Greek playwright, has said, “Experience, travel – these are an education in themselves.” We learnt a lot on the trip ourselves, such as:
Aunties who smoke are ‘cool’.
One does not shoot the messenger.
Lolling about beats exploration of natural beauty and magnificence.
Ideal girl-to-marry should be able to play Behnji & Babe with Jekyll & Hyde ease.
Never doubt a Mandi mechanic.

Adding to learnings with reminders from Rajat Gandhi:

On asking for directions, you might encounter the Epidemic of Dumbness that claims its Himalayan victims swiftly and painlessly.
The best green chutneys are not always green. (After a night of praising green chutney, one may realise it's rhododendron-red when the first rays of the sun shineth.)

More as I recollect:

Rajat is a mutant and his –ve vibes extinguish bonfires.
Drunk men think if they rub your bike’s tank (with ringed fingers) a genie might appear.
Drunk men will buy your bike at any cost because they are very rich.

Roshan, Om Shanti tents (and rooms), Jibhi @ 09418411837

 

Photo by Naveen Chhillar, an Enfield biker who recently did a Rajasthan tour. Of this photo, he writes:

I was fully geared, with my helmet on. The kids assumed I was a foreigner and said “This is camel. Want to ride?”

Based on my experiences, here is WHY you should travel to the following places in India.

Ladakh, J&K

  Blue skies and bare mountains. Very few trees and only in patches. Get spaced out. Wide expanse and air. The main city is made of a couple of streets with shops selling adventure gear, trekking/cycling/rafting packages and lovely jewellery. There are great places to eat with all kinds of teas, pastas, breakfast combos and exotic cuisine from over the world.The city is topped with the Leh palace (look at pic) and a quiet, windy stupa. People are very friendly, cheerful, open and there is an air of relaxation. Casual conversations in the sun. You’ll see apple-cheeked locals, foreigners and very few Indian tourists. Do check the museum called Hall of Fame for a very complete experience of the Indian Army in far out mountains. After 2-3 days of acclimatization in Leh, cut loose, head out and explore the open mountains and meandering Indus. Do it on bike. Suggested route: Leh to Basgo to Nurla to Lamayuru. For cultural buzz, visit Leh at the time of the Ladakh festival (around September). Travel light. Don't take too many clothes and woolens. April to September, its not all that cold in the daytime and you'll get the correct stuff to fulfill your requirements at Leh itself. Take sunscreen and shades.

Getting there: Ladakh is a flight away from Delhi. Book in advance to save almost half your money. Leh is also connected by road via Srinagar (Route 1) and Manali (Route 2). The bus journey is really worth it, if taken as an experience and you are in no hurry. Leh to Manali takes two days at the max, with overnight stay at Keylong; the bus goes through snow mountains, gypsy tent-restaurants, the world’s second highest motorable road Tanglangla, see-through streams, Rohtang pass and amazing topographical forms. Flights from/to Delhi cost Rs 5000-9000; complete one-way bus journey costs Rs 2500.

Jibhi, Himachal Pradesh

Tents (and rooms) beside the river Beas. Amidst dense coniferous forests. A small and cold waterfall very very close by. No town, no village. It’s a place for chilling, bonfire, trekking if you wish, and good food. The ride to Jibhi is beautiful, along the green river Beas and flanked by dominating powerful mountains. Accessible by car. Route best enjoyed with its tight corners on motorbike. 600 km from Delhi. After Gushaini, before Shoja and Jalori pass. Contact Roshan, Jibhi @ 09418411837. For more, click here.

Kasol, Himachal Pradesh

Israeli hippie hangout in the Himalayas. Lots of Israeli food to try. Small town with river running along it and green towering mountains. Smokers’ paradise.  Enroute Kullu Manali. 5 km from Manikaran – a religious spot for Sikhs with its own flavour. Click here to read more.

 McLeodganj, Himachal Pradesh

Major hippie hangout in the Himalayas. Cafes and colourful shops, monastries and Tibetan refugees, Dalai Lama and dreadlocks, Enfields and waterfall. Walk to Dalai Lama’s Monastery and pee in Bhagsunaag waterfall. McLeod is near Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh. Overnight bus-ride from Delhi.

Auli, Uttarakhand

Ski-ing destination in Uttarakhand, ahead of Joshimath. Go for the snow, there is nothing else to do there. Breathtaking views of the most powerful peaks of the world  including Nanga Parbat (Naked Mountain) and K2 (second highest mountain on Earth). Go in the season for ski festivals; go during off-season for bare quiet snow. You might find vast silence while sitting below an open sky, with limitless snow and not a soul around, nothing between you and the distant snowy peaks.

 Rishikesh, Uttarakhand

 Water rafting at Shivpuri in Oct - Feb. Live in tents on sandy river beaches. You can hear the sound of the violent waters throwing themselves against the rocks at night; a constant churning sound of the rapids. Flow like driftwood with the current in the Ganga. Religious madness and aarti with swaying crowds in ochre and saffron. Small kitchy market and impressive Shiva statue in nimbus blue. Click here to read more.

Hanuman and Ram - Other Gods at Rishikesh

Lansdowne, Uttarakhand

A place to visit if you don’t want to go too far from Delhi and don’t want to do much. Lansdowne is Himalayas at just 250 km from Delhi. It’s a cantonment town in Uttaranchal with Garhwal Rifles all over. Very few ‘tourist’ spots there. In fact, you’ll see no tourists. It’s a place for peace, sunny patches on green slopes, to get away and just walk in the mountains as far and as much as you wish. Lansdowne is 28 km from Corbett Tiger Park and some local might point out tiger caves to you. The town has a little Brit mood with the bungalows of Burra Sahibs, but not much. Book your train tickets to and from Kotdwar, the nearest railhead at 41 km, in advance to avoid a lot of pain. You can stay at the Tourist Hotel (Rs 400 onwards), Fairy Dale (at Rs 900 onwards if you bargain), Tip n Top rooms for a view of snowy ranges, or the Jungle Resort/Anand Retreat in the far interiors (Rs 1250 onwards).

Mussoorie + Landour+ Dhanaulti, Uttarakhand 

Maal road wih bakeries and book shops. Mussoorie has one crowded street, the rest is lush green mountains to walk in. The town is also known as the Queen of the hills. One of the hotels said: Stay like a king in the queen of the hills.

Super easy to reach from Delhi. Board the 23:55 Nizamuddin Dehradun Express and reach Dehradun at 6 am or so. Approx 25 km by taxi takes you to Mussoorie. As I waited for my train at Hazrat Nizamuddin station, I enjoyed a live band and sumptuous dinner at Comesum restaurant. Went in July. Mussoorie had no fog. It had clouds. All the time. We walked the roads on a dark night with no electricity, thundering rain and eerily moonlit clouds. If it’s Saturday, you can meet Ruskin Bond and get a book autographed by him at the bookstore on the Maal road between 6 to 8 pm. Have a look at the camel on Camel back road.

Plan a long walk in Landour, from the Lal Tibba point, where the mountain sides are water-soaked, covered with moss and ferns. Large deodars give shade to John and Ms.Katy’s graves at the cemetery.

Head to Dhanaulti, take a horse-ride to View point and you’ll reach a mountain peak which truly does justice to its title. It is a small meadow-like patch where medicinal plants grow. The very top. On your journey up you will see rising clouds. At the view point itself, clouds race urgently over you from the windward to the leeward side. Thunder is a constant sound, travelling from distant places.  All the rain happens below you. You can return to Delhi via the Mussoorie Express that departs from Dehradun at 9:30 pm. From Dehradun to Dhanaulti is all uphill. Cycling has no mini-downhill rewards. So, I would suggest you go up to Dhanaulti and then squeeze your brakes downhill all the way to Dehradun, over morning and afternoon.

Jaisalmer + Sam dunes, Rajasthan

 Intricate architecture. Looming walls. Jaalis, Chattris. Doorways. Narrow lanes between havelis and regular houses. A magnificent fort cheerfully alive with hawkers and cafes (note July 8 café). ALL YELLOW. A city made of sandstone. Dusty winds.. the dunes are not far. A blue sky. Stand in the city. Feel it. That’s it. The ambience. Hit Sam dunes for action especially during the Jaisalmer mela of 3 days – the last day is the most significant. Dances in the dunes with balancing feats, sword-eating, dancing on glass and the rest. Camel-riders race past with panache. Fluttering garments. Sand in the hair, between toes. Rest in your white tent. Your camel deposits you there after a Lawrence-of-Arabia ride though the Thar. Jaisalmer Express train takes you directly to Jaisalmer from Delhi, about 850 km apart. For my trip anecdote click here.

Pushkar, Rajasthan

It’s a place to lose yourself. Loads of camels. A crowd that will sweep you with it like a tidal wave, at least during the Pushkar festival, the world’s largest camel (and horse) trading fair held in Oct-Nov. Gaunt men with huge turbans, twirled moustaches and loonga studs in their ears. Women with heavy elbows and frank countenances. Lots of Israelis. 1 fantastic Israeli food joint on the road, at the foot of Laura cafe. Drop in at Pink Floyd Café (and hotel). Very sunny. Laze in your balcony at the heritage monument-like RTDC guesthouse and soak in the sun. Book your room at RTDC in advance. Climb to sunset point and listen to the little girl Sumitra sing Rajasthani folk songs – raucous and melodious. Let yourself be led to the Pushkar lake for a quick, customized Brahma worship in English – an instant remedy for all your problems.

Photo by Avijit

Neemrana, RajasthanThe truth about Neemrana. A detour from the dusty Delhi-Jaipur highway NH 8 takes you to the Neemrana fort, sitting atop a hillock in a village. The village has narrow lanes and regular grocery shops. I didn’t spot any rural crafts, thatched huts or shady banyans. A bumpy lane, on which sewage water flows in places, takes one up the hillock to the fort. At the entrance of the fort, attendants help tourists to park their cars. They look pleasant dressed in earthy brown tunics and crisp white cotton pants. Pink bougainvillea spills generously over the fort’s high walls. If you take a room at the fort (starting at Rs 3000) the trip might be worthwhile. Visitors have to pay Rs 500 for entering and having a look at the fort. It would be pointless to stay at any hotel other than the fort-palace as the village has nothing to offer.Matheran, Maharashtra A hilly no-traffic zone. Ergo, no pollution. Taxis will leave you on the outskirts of the town, then you walk or take a horse to get inside Matheran. Very green, perennially rainy. Trekking routes and black soil. Hilltop points from where you can see scenic gaping valleys filled with clouds, the patches of sunlight on the green hills that lie before you. Amazing chocolate fudge (not icecream. A different kind of fudge; brings water to my mouth as I think about it). Famous chikki shop. Waterfall. A place to wear your rubber sandals and shorts and explore, explore, explore. Pune, Maharasthra

 The Pune-Mumbai expressway is an experience in itself with a sexy road, high speed, green landscapes and stinging raindrops. Considered the safest city for girls in India. A city alive with verve and electricity, mainly because it is full of college students. Pune was called 'the Oxford of the East' by former Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru. Bikes zipping around. The road to the National Defense Academy (NDA) in Pune is dark and considered a lot of fun. Many places to check out but you must be with friends who know Pune. It’s a city where mood and company matters. Kachi dabeli -street food in Pune in highly recommended. Another plus point is Pune's quaint and charming railway station from where people go off to 'honeymoon' destinations Khandala and Lonavala.

Inside Kachi Dabeli

Pondicherry, union territory

  On the coast of South India, near Chennai. Rocky beach in Pondi city, sandy beach a little way off at Auro. Peace with the Aurobindo Ashram at which the flowers are terrific. Whitescapes at the ex-colony of the French. A colonial flavour, beach and sand. The best part is living at one of the huts at Auro, amidst tropical greens. Glowing and inviting places to eat and drink at night. Wear a straw hat and rent a cycle. If not in the huts, live at the better hotels and villas, where your room is named Elizabeth or Isabelle. To live at the huts contact‘The Roof Top’ Guest houses
Cheap, better & best stay - (As mentioned on the visiting card)
Periyamudaliarchavady, near Auro beach, Pin- 605 104
Mr Kumar - 94432 87324, 94436 32442
sreesaikumar@yahoo.co.in

Hope to append this list with Shillong (looking for mountains dense with forests, fog, Christian schools and rock), Kerela (looking for well oiled ebony bodies, local martial arts, long boats), Maharashtra fort trip (looking for Rajgarh, Singarh) and Jaisalmer (looking for dunes, scorpions, tents-bonfires-caravans, sword dances).

Reminded me of Shakespeare`s words:

``There are a sort of men whose visages

Do cream and mantle like a standing pond,

And do a willful stillness entertain

With purpose to be dressed in an opinion

Of wisdom, gravity, profound conceit``

But those guys are dangerous inside!

The camel riders. Their long kurtas and lungis and draped shawls flutter in the wind. Their loongas (ear-studs) glint and they smoke bidis with squinting eyes. A local, 7 year old kid races past bouncing away on an irritable camel. He is all colours and movement and panache.

Ajay, the shopkeeper in Jaisalmer was the second wise-man I met after Toronto’s Jamaican cab-driver. When we went to his shop, we realised that earlier shopkeepers had fleeced us. Ajay said “Never mind. You paid a little more. What is done is done. Don’t worry... Just imagine you missed beer or a lunch at some restaurant.”

He continued “Did you go to the desert? In the sand..?

With friends or boyfriend?”

I answered friends.

“Oh.. you must return with your boyfriend next time.”

His eyes narrowed and he leant forwards savouring each word…

“It will drive you crrr—aa—zzz—yyy.

They say that couples who are about to divorce come to the desert to spend their last few days together. On leaving, they are unable to get a divorce.

I think there is something in the sand.. scientifically.. that has this effect on the mind….

The foreign-girls who come here fall in love with the camel-riders. It’s no big deal for the riders. Girls come and go. It’s casual flirting. But the girls lose it.. they go mad!”

At night, all strangers were friends and music was a-thumping in the heart. Ramesh and Kamlesh - two performers in drag did the Rajasthani dances, swirling, bending touching their chins to the ground while raising one eyebrow after another. We followed their steps with intense eye-contact and before I knew it we were all dancing together around the bonfire.

Floating. Can't cycle. So no flying. My knee is busted coz of stress and Ronny says `Teri akal tere ghutnon mein hai!`(Tee hee hee hee hee ha he goes).

Did a cycling trip to Neemrana from Delhi. It took 3 days.

Day 1 – 55 km, Delhi to Manesar

Day 2 – 140 km, Manesar to Neemrana to Manesar.

(We hitched a ride 20 of the 140 km after sun-down)

Day 3 - 55 km, Manesar to Delhi

Route:

Delhi, Gurgaon, Manesar, Dharuhera, Shahjapur, Neemrana

Total of 230 km on bikes.

Our rides: 3 Meridas, 1 Trek 3700, 1 Ridgeback

Team:

Col. Vijay

Col. Anand

Manu – a software engineer

Ishan – an engineering student

Malvika – yours truly

The road was a monotonous long highway.

It was very common to see motorcycles with young drivers; their grand-uncles sitting pillion, with their white dhotis and brown shawls fluttering wildly in the wind.

At nights, we stopped at National Security Guards (NSG) cantonment – a very beautiful place with an inspiring atmosphere. The person who brought us tea, was no ordinary man. He had a record of 90 para jumps under his belt! At NSG we met super-fit Major Vijay Bhaskar with his super-fit family. I can’t tell you all the interesting bits we saw at NSG due to confidentiality and security. But I can tell you that one of the Officer’s Mess’s that we entered was completely Don’s den. Yes the same Don jise pakadna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai. Under the transparent floor, fish swam in a channel of water. It was lit in 80s’ greens and reds and blues.

The final destination, Neemrana didn’t turn out to be all that great. Read more about it at the end of this page.

For anyone else planning the trip, these logs by Manu might help –

Day 1

Lajpat Nagar - Manesar
https://sportstracker.nokia.com/nts/workoutdetail/index.do?id=636197

Day 2

Manesar - Neemrana (Couldn't record first 9 Kms and the last 3-4 Kms so add about 13 to the total)
https://sportstracker.nokia.com/nts/workoutdetail/index.do?id=636196

Neemrana - Manesar (Avg speed of 19.9! hats off to everyone for this one)
https://sportstracker.nokia.com/nts/workoutdetail/index.do?id=636198

Day 3

Manesar - Lajpat Nagar
https://sportstracker.nokia.com/nts/workoutdetail/index.do?id=636199